"So I have to go over the risks of surgery with you before you sign this release form. Okay, so there's bleeding. Anyone can bleed when you go in for surgery. I don't expect to have to give you a transfusion, but it's always a possibility. Let's see, perforation. I could puncture your uterine wall. That's far more likely for pregnant women. Being pregnant makes the uterus wall softer. It actually takes a lot of pressure to push through a normal woman's uterus. Of course, the bladder and the bowels are right there, so if something did puncture the uterus lining, it could get complicated. Now I'm not going to wake you up at this point, I would just open you up and fix it and then deliver the bad news. I mean they're horrendous stories, but they do happen. But you could get hit by a car walking down the street and that's a horrendous story too."
Counting on fingers..."bleeding, perforation, oh yeah, so sometimes the cervix just won't open enough for the laparoscopy. That's not so common with a young woman like you, but if it happens, I have to cut and then check to see if I got the right spot. It's not ideal, but it happens. So we've done bleeding, perforation, anatomical complications...also, I put a fluid inside of you so that I can see better. Over time that gets absorbed into the blood stream. Gosh when we first started doing these surgeries women died from it. But now we have a way of measuring how much fluid you're absorbing and if the machine starts beeping, I just have to stop the surgery. It's annoying because then when you wake up I have to tell you we have to do it all over again. I don't think this will be a problem for you. You're having a short procedure. It's the huge fibroids that run into this issue.
"You know, I think I just say all of this so that you'll think I'm an amazing surgeon when it's all over. Well, and I have to tell you. Shall we go over the other options and the benefits of the surgery?"
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6 comments:
holy crap Kirsten. Not comforting at all!!! Such a matter of fact delivery too. Like my gingerbread cookie recipe...not expecting that anyone would have a emotional reaction to this.
I feel like I should jump in the car with tea right now.
This made me laugh out loud. Surgeons are known for having the absolute worst bedside manner. Another reason Grey's Anatomy is so implausible (yet seductive).
I once saw a doctor turn on the TV for a bone marrow biopsy on an unanesthetized patient. Here the guy is practically in tears over wondering if he has leukemia, and the doc's watching sports. Unbelievable!
That's not very comforting either is it?
They are all more than competent at the surgery part. They learn that really well in school.
You know, I feel stupid for using Scrubs as any kind of guide, but I did find it comforting that Scrubs portrays surgeons as such jerks. I felt like maybe there's some sort of disassociation that happens between what they are cutting and the human side. It makes sense that this would be necessary, even if it makes for terrible bedside manners.
I forgot to add one of my favorite moments from the pre-op meeting: She's listing all of the people who will be present during the surgery and she says,"there may be a medical student. If this makes you uncomfortable, I can ask them to leave, but in my experience the medical students are the best. They are the ones holding your hand. They are probably the only one in the room who actually cares anymore. So really, I wouldn't recommend kicking the medical student out."
It is so true about medical students! When I took Andrew to get that skin condition checked, the doctor ONLY spoke to the medical students. I felt totally dissed by her but the medical students actually made eye contact with me and asked me questions. So, I wonder sometimes what would have happened if they were not there. Would the doctor have shifted her attention to me, or found something else to distract her. weird.
I love Scrubs! I love it because nursing students embarrass themselves all the time just like the medical students in the show. It's a very sheepish position to be in, and sometimes I think we get more comfort out of holding the patient's hand than they do. ;)
Ah, that is a lot of overwhelming facts...but as awful as the list sounds...at least he was honest and forthcoming. Kirsten, I really support you in this decision to move forward. I love your courageous spirit. No wonder life feels a bit overwhelming right now...remember to breath deep and accept both your courage and fear.
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